Rachel Cairns in her one-woman show, Hypothetical Baby, at Here For Now Theatre in Stratford. Photo courtesy of Here For Now Theatre
By Galen Simmons
Rachel Cairns’ one-woman play, Hypothetical Baby, is an uncomfortable and disorganized look inside Cairns’ mind as she recounts her experience seeking out an abortion to terminate an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy.
It is uncomfortable because abortion is still one of those subjects most of us don’t speak openly about, despite it being legal in Canada since 1969. It is disorganized because Cairns is still seeking a suitable beginning and a satisfying conclusion to a story that has neither.
Yet this play, the latest rendition of which was presented at Here For Now Theatre in Stratford from Sept. 2-13, is an unflinching and unwavering retelling of a time in the playwright’s life during which the polarizing opinions of doctors, her boyfriend, her mother, strangers on the internet, abortion clinic staff and Cairns herself spiral into a ball of moral ambiguity centred on questions about what it means to be alive and whether the life of an unborn fetus is worth more than that of a pregnant person.
Cairns returns again and again to the question of why she decided to terminate her pregnancy, which boils down to a lack of financial stability, the desire to establish herself as an actor and an insecurity in her relationship. She defends that decision from a doctor who openly advocates against abortion, a boyfriend who struggles to understand why she doesn’t want a baby with him and distances himself from her, and strangers on the internet who respond to her anger and heightened anxiety with calm coolness, making arguments against abortion that sometimes ring true on a purely emotional level.
At the same time, Cairns re-enacts conversations with her mother about her own abortions in the 1970s and 1980s, a time when abortion was legalized in Canada but was still very much carried out in secret and in unsafe conditions.
While the moments of anxiety, confusion, anger and uncertainty around her decision to have an abortion were underscored by changes in lighting, soundscape and projected news articles on the sparse set’s backdrop, Cairns’ portrayal of the physical pain and extreme discomfort associated with medical abortion – a pain her mother tells her is similar to labour – is very real and very hard to watch.
Because this story is a personal retelling of her own experiences, Cairns is clearly able to harness the emotions and physical pain she felt before, during and after her abortion – and perhaps still to this day – making this play one of the most believable and uncomfortably real performances I’ve seen this year.
Though we in the audience are left to confront our own personal opinions about abortion, the play leaves us with one clear message: if we create a society where prospective parents have the resources and support they need to raise their children, regardless of socio-economic status, the need for abortion wouldn’t be as great as it is today.
A little food for thought from a play that has, in my opinion, cemented itself as an important piece of the conversation around abortion.
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